a season of growth.

I have never in my life felt the Lord calling me into a specific season of life. I have only ever reflected on my life and realized the season I had been going through. I personally believe that nothing is more beautiful than the Lord making it clear to us the season we will be entering next. That being said, the past two weeks the girls of J squad have been in Black Mountain, North Carolina while the boys have been in Jackson, Kentucky. While we were separated we were both spreading the love of God to the communities we were in. We were given the space and the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Over the two weeks we were gone, the Lord taught me so much about him, his people, and myself. He has made it clear to me that he is calling me into a season of silence and growth.

James 1:19 says, “know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger”. Through him I am learning to be slow to speak. Having intentional conversations with people and genuinely listening to them and not being distracted by what you will say next is beautiful. Making people feel heard creates an intimacy that God has called his people to have. Not only is this a season of silence, but also a season of growth. Realizing that the Lord has more for me and that he has a way to get me where he wants me is so heartwarming. The Lord will use you and develop you every single day you are willing to be used.

1 Timothy 4:15 says, “practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress”. I felt God challenging me to fully immerse myself into this season of growth. I have been healing and growing these past few months, but I have been doing it for myself and not for Jesus. Not only have I been doing it for myself, but I have been doing it my own way. He made it very clear to me that he wanted to strip me of what I thought growth was and rebuild everything. I have surrendered my idea of growth and am letting Jesus rewrite that part of me. However he wants me to grow and in whatever way he wants, I am willing. In order to have a physical representation of this season of life, I felt the urge to shave my head. I think it will help me to see my internal growth while watching my external growth through my hair. Letting go of something I loved so much (my hair) and allowing Jesus to grow it back at his own pace is very hard for me. I surrendered my internal idea of growth so I felt called to surrender my external idea of growth too.

After only 36 hours of having my head shaved, I can already see how God is working in this season. My idea of beauty has been stripped. I feel so much more confident now because I know my beauty doesn’t come from my hair or appearance, but from the Lord. He has given me the opportunity to talk to so many little girls these past few days. The way they look at my bald head makes my heart so happy. Most little girls have never seen a girl with no hair. Just as Jesus is helping rewrite my view of beauty, he is also helping these little girls through me. I cannot wait to see what else God does through this season. I cannot wait to see how much I grow through him.